"Pop!" Goes My Head

I must confess my arrogance and almost parasitic nature. I did not do this internship for the attention. There are far easier ways to do that and remain in the States. But rather, in taking this internship, I began to seek attention. Within the first week here in Santiago I soon found myself desiring for people to know the great work I was doing.

In all honesty, I am doing nothing. What I do is minimal to the workings of God around the globe this very minute. And yet, here I was swelling in pride when in reality I should have been deflating from humility. This will not be a pity trip, but it will be a lesson for all. I hope people read this to learn from it. To use it and apply it in their own lives.

It began this afternoon. I had mentioned to a few of the other interns my struggle with not getting some of the recognition I felt I deserved. I didn't want a parade or a flashing sign, but I saw others getting more attention for, say, studying abroad or working with a local church. Yet here I was in a poor country serving the poorest of poor and people took more of an interest in them?!

Yes. And it is right for them too. Well, one of the interns sent me this passage she stumbled on:

"Be carefully not to do your 'acts of righteousness before men, to be seen by them"
Matt 6:1

And so on and so on. I am not saying that I took this internship for it to be seen by others, but the desire certainly grew along with my pride these first few weeks. But then it all collapsed before my eyes right after I was given that verse. Two new banks got their loans today, meaning the associates had to come to the office, deal with some paperwork and receive their loan. These women entered in to receive no more than $200. They had to show the utmost in humility to get this loan. By entering into our office, they are publicly stating they are poor and they need any money they can get to continue providing for themselves and their family. They go through a test, literally, to determine if they are poor enough. If they have gotten to this stage then they have answered questions on how much they make (if anything) and how much they own. Or rather, how little. And yet I walk into this office each day frustrated that people don't notice that I spent $390 on a flight down here or I was able to afford such a trip.

I never did this blog for people to see the "great things" I was doing. That was never the intention and I hope it doesn't appear that way. Rather, this blog is a way to allow people to see God's work with the poorest of the poor through micro finance.

So next time you want a parade with flashing lights and blinking billboards, remember the humility these women display just to receive $200, a small amount that changes their lives forever.