I am not my own, for I have been made new. Please don't let me go, I desperately need You.


No, these are not my words. I took them from Owl City. But they certainly speak volumes with the emotion they convey. Today my devotion focused on Matthew 5:30

"If your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and cast it from you; for it is more profitable for you that one of your members perish, than for your whole body to be cast into hell"

Owl City speaks of what has happened and what will occur. As Oswald Chambers puts it, there is not one saint yet that didn't first live life with the characteristic of being maimed. When we are spiritually reborn, we begin a life of restraint, or rather we should live a life of restraint. So we limit ourselves by asking God to intervene, to stop us from committing such actions that aren't necessarily sin but actions that are not conducive with the new life Christ offers us.

This is what Owl City refers to. He recognizes that his acceptance of the Christian faith has brought to him a new life. But it is a life of purging and refining. And so he must cling to what is true during that purging. Suddenly, all in his life is different and new. What once was acceptable is no longer acceptable. Paradigms of life are shattered right before his eyes. His life has purpose beyond the bounds of our world. Such times can be confusing, and so we must rightly ask God to guide us and protect us. As many of the gua gua in this country say,

Dios es my guía. God is my guide.

So I was wrong. Suffering from sin is certainly a part of the Christian walk. But it is only part. On a much larger scale is suffering from the new life in Christ: the purging, the denial, the new boundaries of morals, the new meaning and outlook of life. This is much more terrifying and difficult. Each step of our lives, if we are not scared, uncomfortable, learning, or being purged, we are not truly living out Gods plan for our lives. He has us here not just to expand His kingdom, but also to purify ourselves and make ready the Church. My time here is a time to purge myself of sins and old habits. It is a time of renewal just as much for me as it is for the thousands of women and men that earn a second loan on life with un préstamo con Esperanza.

It does not mean that you need to spend three months in the Dominican Republic. But it does mean that you pursue those times and opportunities to stretch yourself, to be purged, to learn, and to ultimately trust in God. We all will be made perfect, I am observing these changes on a small level each day here. But for perfection to occur, work must first be done.