You ever walk down the street just people watching? I love to people watch. Seeing the different shades of colors in skin, the styles of clothing that speak volumes about one's life. Take the girl that dyes her hair some god-forsaken color. Her desire to be noticed is also her desire to keep distance between anyone. The boy with the skinny jeans and the torn t-shirt, sunglasses positioned amongst his ruffled hair? Does it really imply he doesn't care about his appearance, or in his attempt to not care he ends up caring more than most? Are those two holding hands because they are in love? Or do they feel the pressure to find someone significant to cling to? Why does that boy wear the cardigan from Forever 21, with heels, lipstick, and a nice fake pearl necklace? Does he truly feel like a she? Or is he starving for the attention that comes with cross dressing?
Am I really writing these posts because I feel I can change the world with my narrow perspective? Or do I do it merely because I can post them on Facebook and wait for some public praise by a friend who is really only doing it out of obligation for the friendship, when deep down they could really give a crap.
This post seems so disillusioned and depressed. I assure it is not. Rather, I ask that we take time to find out our motives in life. Why do we do the things we do? Most likely, the first answer that comes to mind when we ask ourselves is not going to be the true response. Truth lies in the heart, and the heart is a deceitful being. Not necessarily in a bad way, more in a protective way.
I believe a lot of our choices aren't our own. Sure, they come from us, but do we actively understand why we make the choices we make? No. And we shouldn't pretend to either. But then we also shouldn't begin to judge others based off the decisions they make. No, I am not talking about good, close family and friends that make poor decisions. By all means, call them out. But when you see someone pass by on the street and they aren't dressed the way you are, it isn't wrong. It isn't right. And you have no idea why they made that decision to dress that way. Much so they most likely don't know the true reasoning behind it.
A personal example where I do know the true reasoning behind it. I have four or five very close friends, then hundreds of what I would call "acquaintances." Unfortunately, most people don't see it that way. They see me as a good friend and end up being greatly disappointed by me. Many just think I am a complete jerk who is inconsiderate of others. The fact is that I trust few. And had those people taken the time to get to know me, learn of my past and understand why I don't trust people, then the ugly situations we find ourselves in wouldn't have occurred.
Again, this is not supposed to be some negative post. Rather, I just plead with you all, when you see someone make a decision, be it a stranger or friend, and be it an action or a choice, before you cast judgement, take time to learn more about that person. You may find out why they did what they did, and not only will you avoid conflict, but you may just further a relationship.
*fin
Interesting post G... I am left with a few questions though...
ReplyDeletei for one do enjoy your random thoughts. my first motive is that it's fun to interact with others' thoughts. My likely secondary motive probably has something to do with earning people's approval.
ReplyDeletewhat's interesting to me is the reverse of what you're asking: how much you can tell about an individual by the choices they make, usually within context of somewhat knowing them at least. But perhaps how an individual dresses likely does (intentionally) state something about them (a certain individual you and I both know who changed outfit-motif quite frequently was read-able on this basis). Or how being inconsiderate indicates a general lack of vulnerability and trust. Yes, get to know a person to better understand their actions, but what I'm sayin back is that the "getting-to-know-you" is encountering their behavior as much as it is hearing their background.
seems i could make my own self crazy thinkin "but what if my unconscious motive is...?".
BTW, don't tell people bout my heels and lipstick!
Haha. Agreed. One can gather a lot about a person from simple observation. But my point here is that sure, you can learn a lot from dress or actions. But don't let those judgments be the end all about said person, because there most certainly is more below the surface
ReplyDeleteLike the person ranting on the subway. There is probably a reason for it that we just don't know.
ReplyDelete