WARNING: If you think Sarah Palin is God, then disregard this post. Block it from your memory like Catholics do with homosexuality and pedophilia. BUT if you want an open honest confession of emotion, read on. Don't say I didn't warn you.
It is quite possible the reason this post will make no sense is that my thoughts right now are really scattered and confusing. On one end, I want to write some philosophically ground-breaking post with some political stigma thrown in along with a pinch of sarcasm. While, on the other, I want to spoon in some "I don't care" and add a dash of, well quite frankly.. fuck you (sorry for the french)
The fact is that I am my own culprit. And it is only I that has put me into this predicament. It has made my life quite interesting these last few weeks. I get short bursts of extreme passion for the most random crap. Just today I burst into a tirade against Rick Perry (who is a COMPLETE idiot.. see? it is coming back!) on the train. My dad, dismayed by such a public outcry occurring on the train sort of passively tried to reign me in. But not more than a minute later, I would have rather shoveled horse shit than talk about him (Perry that is, how dare you think I'd talk about my father that way!). It is sort of a compulsive burst of passion that fluctuates as much as Obama's stance on.. anything (well maybe more John Kerry, Obama can't seem to make a stance at all).
For a whopping two weeks I was so passionate about metro escalators. If you want to RIDE the escalator, you use the RIGHT. If you want to WALK up the escalator, you use the LEFT. I would never say anything or awkwardly poke people's bodies in a non-subtle way, but it would enflame my mind with anger towards tourism, the federal government, and fried plantains. Yet today, as I was getting bumped and hit by people literally sprinting to the escalator to get there first, I slowed down. Slllloooowwweeeed dooooowwwwnnnn.
Some days it is as if I am a ticking time bomb, good or bad (poor guy at McDonald's this morning, whom I should be thanking in that his mistake kept me from consuming 1 trillion calories but I instead chewed out for giving me bacon instead of sausage. I fucking hate bacon). Non-profits should just pay for me as a consultant for 3 hrs and then hire a PR team for the next 3 to defend themselves from me.
Am I bipolar? How about, am I rude? Yes. But bipolar? No. I am just a complex person. I have emotions too. Be nice to me.
What was the point of such an obnoxious, inappropriate post? I am being true, I am being honest, I am being real. Hell, that is what you signed up for by coming here. I am done with the fake. Done with the flake. Done with the rude. It is ironic that people call me that all the time, because the fact is that I am just real, just being me. No I am not an asshole about it. But apparently I still come off rude and flakey. I think it has more to do with them than with me: it is an inward focus on a desire to feel good about yourself (what a parasitic way to look at any relationship...). I don't want to pretend to like you. I want to really like you. I don't want to pretend that we are friends. I want to be friends. But if it isn't working, I won't try and pretend it is. I can only be as real as I am. You must be real too. And until you can post something like this, I don't think we can ever be friends.
*********DISCLAIMER**********
Oh snap, a lot of you will disagree with this. Most will probably think one of the following:
1) What an asshole
2) What a young asshole
3) What a young naive asshole
4) What a prick
Well then you totally missed the point of this post. I wasn't trying to offend anyone. I will. I have to admit the post was a tad inappropriate. But for those of you that are upset and offended, I beg you to answer this question:
What sort of thoughts have you had before you haven't shared with anyone because they were rude, inappropriate, or just plain nasty?
*fin
*fin
hmm well you didn't even mention Sarah Palin than in your opening paragraph, so I'm not sure what I just read...
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