18.9.12

Yellow

It used to be that fall was my least favorite time of the year. Fall meant the end of lazy summer days, the  coming cold winter, and work. I used to despise the changing colors all around me because I knew what followed. How could anyone enjoy such colors when death was just around the corner. It was to get cold, dark, and lonely for months. Why is that something to look forward to? I find a couple things wrong with that perspective.


For one, enjoy the moment you are in. Perhaps it is because now, having a few more years on me than I did back in middle school or even elementary school, I see that life is full of both frost and humidity. Sunshine isn't always readily available each and every day. So when there is a burst of life, as in the spring or fall-when that kaleidoscope of colors is upon us-it is one of life's great moments. And we should celebrate and enjoy it, not detest it. Yes, death is around the corner, but spring will be back, as will fall. And for those 5-6 weeks it is beauty on a level unmatched the rest of the year. 

But secondly, why is death such a bad thing to begin with? For one, in nature, the death I am talking about isn't really a true death but a hibernation. A reprieve from the blossoming and flowering that takes  precedence the rest of the year. It is a needed rest. As is death. And so, referring back to the first point, once you have come to terms with the fact that death and rest are both needed, you begin to enjoy fall that much more.

And so it is with eager anticipation that I wait for the changing leaves. I am looking forward to the pallette or reds, oranges, yellows, browns, and fading greens. And I am also looking forward to the bareness of winter. It is a time to recover. And a time to ponder anew. So that come April, when life is back in full force, I am prepared for the sweeping changes that will occur. Take this last gasp of change with excitement, and enjoy it while it lasts.

11.9.12

Something Special

A lot of my posts contain personal reflections, anecdotes, thoughts, etc. And, it just so happens, many of my themes revolve around personal struggles and victories. But I have felt for the longest time that something has been missing from my posts. I dedicate this post to you. "You" being my friends and family.

A LOT of my lessons learned haven't been from my own doing, but rather my own undoing and then the support my friends provide to bring me back up. It took quite the act of arrogance on my part this weekend to be brought down to a level and realize just how much I owe to those around me. The past 2 1/2 years since I have started this blog haven't been easy. From living in a developing country, to finding that elusive first job, to buying my first car, to moving out on my own into my own studio at the age of 22, it has been a series of dramatic challenges month after month. Each time I have been presented with something new and difficult I have relied on someone. Yes, some say I am strong, but a lot of my strength today comes from lessons learned and an extra hand from back then. I want to name you all as a way of saying thanks to what you have done for me. One of my favorite songs of all time is a relatively new piece by the Australian group PNAU titled "Something Special." Somewhat of a dance rock anthem covering themes of empowerment and struggle, it plays into my thoughts today. Take a listen and see if you agree that we all need our something special. So here is the list:

Brianne
Steph
Sarah
Craig
Joanne
Joel
Brandon
Kelsey
Meredith
Leah
Megan
PJ
Jason
Mike
Jordan
DJ
Ben
Betsy
David
Jeff
Karla
Laura
Vanessa
Chelsey
Ken
Brandon

There are countless others that have also played a role, and if I left your name out, please understand I couldn't have a list of 300 people to read. I am able to keep posting today, to learn anew, and to be transformed on a regular basis all because of you. And I thank you.

5.9.12

Poor&Meek

I began this blog as a way for the few friends and family that would actually read my postings to follow my experiences during my internship in the Dominican Republic. Since then, the blog has sort of carried on as a public journal of my life. I suppose it hit me when I came home that I will have just as many transformative and profound events in my life as I did abroad. It really comes down to just how open I would be. The time and location really don't matter. Granted, abroad I tend to have a much more open mind to such transformative events, but no matter, the blog continued. The name was derived from the beatitudes in the Bible. I figured that my time abroad would require a stance of humility in order to understand those around me that would be poor and meek. I soon found out that I myself was poor in spirit and meek in power as well. And then I discovered that being poor and meek isn't a sign of weakness but of strength, and that I needed to live a life where I was constantly positioning myself in a stance of humility. Hence where this post comes into play.

Over the past few months I have gotten into many heated discussions regarding politics. I have become fed up with the Tea Party. I am tired of the Democrats. And the Republicans seem to annoy me more than my own brother (which is quite the feat). It is nothing but passive-aggressive rhetoric back and forth between the two parties and we haven't seen much progress over the last four years beyond learning that Boehner cries, Obama can't lead his own party, Paul Ryan listens to Rage Against the Machine, and Michelle Obama can wear some really pretty dresses. I would list the fact that Pelosi looks like she has had one too many Botox surgeries, but we have known that for a while. On the voter side, we have come to discover that most people vote on one issue. Two examples: 1) Gays love Obama despite his minimal backing of same sex marriage, and 2) there is a large group of angry voters trying to disrupt a system they never seemed to care about before nor ever understood. And so I have begun channeling my frustration towards the political system and all things Tea Party, Republican, and Democrat, onto people via heated discussions. I do have my opinions, but it is safe to say that no one really knows what my beliefs are, because no matter one's stance, I am constantly arguing against it. Why? Because we sit here and get spoon fed lies, twisted facts, and opinion. What about the truth? Where has it gone in our society?

But sadly, no one cares. We just want to hear or see the story that will invoke the strongest emotional response from us. I did not watch any of the RNC and didn't plan on watching any of the DNC, but happened to catch part of it last night. The speeches I saw had no substance. They invoked anger and passion against opponents. They drew upon emotional responses rather than presenting facts and plans and solutions to many of our nation's problems. I have read a few of the Republican speeches and can say the same for them. And what this boils down to is that each person speaking has some sort of motive. Well, no duh. But what is so stunning is that voters never ask themselves the very question they should be with each speech, debate, or ad: What is the motive behind this? Why is he/she saying that?

Do you think it was a coincidence that all of the major speeches for the RNC revolved around family, motherhood, and love? Why? Was it because the RNC is full of people who truly care for families and understand the average American? Not saying they don't but also not saying they do. Rather, the GOP was attempting to make Romney more "likeable." Why was it a common theme last night at the DNC to discuss the hardship of growing up poor and working hard to make a living? Because the Dems are attempting to capture a vote of confidence from the middle and low-income classes.

Call it jaded, but I am highly skeptical of any politician these days. But perhaps I should be. I should be questioning every single one of their motives on both sides. I should be diligent in my pursuit of the truth. I should doubt what I am told and make sure I find out the reality to the message being presented to me. I should assume that no politician is out to protect and support me. I am not saying they aren't, but that mindset will ensure that I don't fall into the rhetoric each one spews out and become the very zombie this nation has fought against. How has the country founded on individualism and diversity suddenly become a warring nation with two factions aiming to suppress any differing views or thoughts? When did we lose our vision as a country that was fought for 300 some years ago? As an American, my views should be valued and supported by others. My opinions should be heard with open ears, taken in and processed, and then either accepted or discarded.

That is what this country was founded on. The freedom and value in individualism. We have lost it. But we can win it back. It just requires people to take stances of humility. Become one that is poor in spirit and meek in heart. Become weak so that you may hear others, work together, and further a nation that was intended to be poor and meek from the start.