Separation

Hindsight is the greatest way to beat yourself up. But it is also a great way to be reflective, learn from mistakes, and keep attempting to.... work. Looking back at my life over the past 12 months I can see many mistakes, but also many successes. If there is anything I have learned, it is that the human has a desire for fulfillment that is so powerful it can blind even the quickest of minds. I have the mind of molasses, so my heart easily takes over control.

A desire for love. A need for attention. A hope for success. A passion for something. A worry of pain. A fear of something out of one's control.

The heart takes on many emotions that all reflect an inward desire. It is so important to be reflective, to use that hindsight to delve into the reasoning behind your actions to find that emotion to unearth your inner need. Once that need has been recognized, only then can a balance be found.

It is important to note that I am not explicitly talking about survival instincts. But I am talking about how survival instincts can play an important role in our actions. It may not be hunger for food. But hunger for alcohol, sex, attention, or money can be just as powerful as the need for water and food. For me, my hunger is relations. I desire to feel wanted, to be had, and to know I am loved. It comes from a deep sense of need and a lack of feeling loved growing up. But the reality is that my desire is no different from yours. I am Christian, that should be obvious by now. And so I believe that our separation from God, the one ultimate satisfaction, is what has created this need in not just me, but all humans. What is different though, is how we react to this hunger. It takes on desires for relationships, alcohol, sex, money, power, gossip. There are moments in your life that can help explain why you desire what you desire, but the root cause is a need, no an ache, in your heart. And that ache comes from separation from God.