Photo Credit: Judy van der Velden
I have moved twice. I am changing jobs. I have a new nephew. I made the decision to stick to my city (DC) and to make something of my life here. Which is a huge step for me. Because I usually run. I usually get bored or scared of being too tied down, and yet I decided to stay, at least for a few more years. This has been the longest I have stayed in one city in 4 years. And it has been almost two here in the DC area. And the biggest change of them all? I chose to spend the last 6 months dedicated to spending time with those close to me. I saw my 93 year old grandmother three times in just the past few weeks alone. I gave up some parties here in DC, time with my 20 something socialites, to spend with a woman who has lost one of her sons and could pass away at any time. Morbid? Not at all. I don't fear death. I don't necessarily embrace it either, but it is a part of life, and should be celebrated.
Now is the time for me to be focused again externally. I took time off to focus on myself. To be reflective and give myself time to process what had happened over the previous 12 months. Because no one told me that your early 20s were perhaps the most transformative time ever. Certainly my 30s will be even more so, as will the 40s and 50s, but I wasn't prepared. And that isn't a bad thing. But I needed to pause, breathe, and prepare for the next few years.
And looking back on the last 2 years, I have changed so much. I am slower to react, more patient, and also more daring. I have more respect for others, and I am attempting to be more intentional with my relationships. And I have learned to be happier in all situations. That is the hardest for me. I find myself too easily falling into a thought process of negative emotions when there is so much joy and good around me. My latest move is a perfect example. I moved from DC to the 'burbs of Maryland. Which, ironically enough, there is a higher population density where I live now then when I was in DC. But numbers aside, I hated it at first. I had no friends here. Work is further for me. And it isn't the District.
But then, one day, I read on a local blog that one of my favorite DC restaurants was opening up a location here. Then I found out my new eye doctor was right around the corner. And that everything was just 5 minutes walking distance from my apartment. There are concerts on Friday evenings right around the block. And I do have some friends nearby and could make more. I slowly began to discover the good things about the area. I had been so dismissive, so quick to judge my new home, that I failed to even recognize the good here. Good that already exists and good through potential challenges that will change me, like making new friends.
So what other areas have I dismissed in my life? Honestly? My weight/body. My personality. My financial situation and job. And my relationships. Which is why it is so fitting that this post is the first back from my unplanned break. I am back in business with this blog. But I am also reopening my thoughts to anyone that cares to read. To encourage personal reflection through my honesty.
I am flipping that sign in the window, lifting up the shades, letting the sunlight in, dusting off the interior, sweeping the floors, polishing it up and getting ready for a brand new rush.